Managing conflict with staff and students can also be supported through the application of verbal and non-verbal communication strategies. In particular, acting genuinely interested in understanding what another person is thinking, feeling, and wanting can minimise the emotions that may be involved in a conflict. Checking for understanding is particularly important. Applying skills to check understanding before we respond can also be helpful in managing a conflict or difficult conversation, as outlined in the examples:

• “can you describe that another way?”
• “could you give me an example?”
• “could you just repeat what you said?”
• “so what you said was…”
• “what I heard you say was…”
• “let me just check to see that I heard you right…”

It is perfectly normal for all of us to become anxious or stressed when facing conflict. This can lead to us acting defensively, or engaging in competitive listening (only listening until we have a turn to speak). When competitive listening occurs, it becomes clear to others that you are more interested in promoting your own point of view versus understanding or exploring someone else’s view. When this occurs, coming to a shared agreement, let alone collaborating, can be challenging.

Engaging in conflict can be really hard. So it is also important to be aware of the impact that engaging in conflict with others can have upon us. While conflict can be very stressful in the short term, long term anxiety over ongoing conflict can lead to both physical and mental health concerns. While you won't be able to avoid every conflict, you can be better prepared to engage and respond.