Why doesn't stress feel the same for everyone?

Why is change so hard to do?

Elodie

There are many different emotions associated with change, particularly in schools. Educators often experience change fatigue, driven by reforms to policies and practices, in the ongoing pursuit of school, system, and student improvement. Students also experience a fear of change, especially when it feels like things are being done to them, without them having a say. Change can be positive, allowing us to grow and develop. But it can also feel like it is happening to us, without us being willing or able. Change can therefore feel and seem deeply personal.

Helping young people to cope with change

Identifying our individual triggers/stressors can help us all learn to self-regulate during times of challenge and uncertainty. Teaching students how to recognise good versus bad stress can also help them to establish boundaries. Encouraging students to help seek, with peers, parents and carers, teachers, and trusted adults, can help them to process and reflect on life’s challenges. Change is hard to do, and young people shouldn’t have to do everything on their own. Rather, students need to know how to ask for help and problem-solve their next steps. Helping students to cope with change and uncertainty is largely about providing a space for challenge, growth, and resilience. Preparing students is also crucial. Acknowledge emotions. Encourage risk taking, problem solving, and creative and critical thinking. Challenge mindsets. Learning to say no, to have their voices heard, and to know their limits can also set students up for success.

Why doesn’t stress feel the same for everyone?

Stress can impact all of us differently. The level and extent of stress a person may feel depends a great deal on their attitude and the importance they’ve assigned to a particular situation. An event that may be extremely stressful for one person can be a mere hiccup in another person’s life. You may feel under pressure to do something and fear you may fail. The more important the outcome, the more stressed you feel.

It is important to remember that there is no right way to respond to stress, and what causes one person stress may not feel the same for someone else.

Understanding resistance to change

There are many different reasons for which resistance to change occurs. But perhaps the most challenging is the resistance that comes from our own mindset, behaviour, and dispositions.  Change is never easy, and the strategies we develop over the course of our lives help us to cope with challenge. But these strategies can sometimes get in the way. We can become avoidant, or we can deliberately do things to sabotage our best efforts to change, because it is more comfortable, it is what we know. We sometimes call this “resistance to change". The good news is, becoming aware of the way we feel about change means we can challenge the underlying thoughts, feelings, and assumptions that get in the way of our desire to try, and to improve.